


If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play On

by JazzB



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Music, M/M, i'm very late to the game on this and i am sorry, will add tags as necessary - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 12:39:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18739219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazzB/pseuds/JazzB
Summary: A series of loosely connected Siren shorts, inspired by songs.





	If Music Be The Food Of Love, Play On

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I recently rewatched In The Flesh and got the fanfic itch once more. Am I posting this five years after the show ended and after everyone stopped caring? Heck yeah. Am I inevitably going to abandon this fic as I do with every other project I start? Also probably yeah. We love commitment issues.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieren finds Simon in the woods. They talk about what Simon believes, and what's coming next.

**_While some marching band keeps its o_** _ **wn beat in my head,  
**_**_While we're talking,_  
_About all of the things I long to believe,_  
_About love, the truth and what you mean to me,_  
****_And the truth is, baby, you're all that I need._  
**-  **Bed of Roses, Bon Jovi.**

* * *

 

It's been three days since the funeral. 

Despite having told Sue at the wake that he was staying at the bungalow, Simon has spent decidedly little of the past seventy-two hours there. Partially because he can't stand to see the sight of her bedroom. Some of her things are still there, things she somehow forgot to bequeath in her extensive will. Books. CDs. Makeup. A couple of dresses. A hair flower. He tried to give some of it to Philip, but it just made him cry and Simon felt bad. The door is closed, but he can seldom resist the temptation to open it up and have a peek inside. It's also, in part, out of nervousness. The night after the funeral, Zoe and the rest of them had packed up and left for the commune without saying a word to him, and he's not heard from anyone since. He's not stupid. He knows he's in trouble. He's a traitor now. He doesn't really know what happens to traitors. Nobody does, except for the prophet. He's not entirely sure he wants to find out. 

He spends a little time at the Walker house, but that's awkward as sin. Kieren's family are trying, and Simon appreciates that, he's trying too, but he knows he's got a ways to go before he can win them over properly. Steve and Jem especially. They hole up in Kieren's room, except Steve makes them leave the door open, so they really just listen to music and talk about things that won't arouse suspicion or fear in any relative who happens to eavesdrop, by accident or on purpose. Most of the time, he just wanders. Spends time by Amy's grave, or out at the old farmhouse in the woods. He likes to go up there in the evenings. To some, it might be unnerving up there, alone, but Simon finds peace in the serene remoteness. It does him wonders to spark up a campfire and be alone with his thoughts for a bit, or what he can gather of them anyway. 

That's where he is the night Kieren comes out and finds him. He's sitting cross-legged, staring into the fire, when the silhouette of the blond appears at the edge of the trees. 

"Hi, you," he starts to say, but he gets cut off halfway through the second syllable. 

"How long have you been here?!" Kieren sounds somewhere between panicked and angry. 

"Couple of hours, I think," Simon replies. "Hard to say, really. Lose track of time up here." 

Kieren sits down beside him, lets out a disgruntled sigh. 

"You couldn't have let me  _know_? I went to the bungalow looking for you, and when you weren't there I..." he trails off with a deep shuddery breath. A pause. 

"You what?" Simon prompts, without taking his eyes off the fire. Kieren sighs again and runs a hand through his hair. 

"I thought you'd gone," he says, in a voice so small it's almost inaudible over the fire. Simon looks him up and down for a moment, then brings his hand up to rest on Kieren's cheek. 

"I said, didn't I?" he says, softly. "I'm staying put." 

"You said that," Kieren agrees, leaning into Simon's touch ever so slightly. "Doesn't mean you meant it though." 

"You think I'd just take off and leave you like that?" Simon is almost offended. He allows his hand to drop, and Kieren sighs heavily, forces a sad smile. 

"You wouldn't be the first," he comments. "Wouldn't be the first time you've done it either." There's a heavy, uncomfortable pause. Kieren is the one to break it. 

" _Why_ did you do it, Si?" he's angry all of a sudden, hands clenched into fists in his lap. "Why didn't you  _tell_ me you were leaving? I don't care what you were leaving to do. You could've called or texted or  _something._ " 

"Kieren-" he begins. Kieren carries on as if he didn't interrupt. 

"I thought you were mad at me when I didn't hear from you for a bit, and then when we were being accused of breaking into the doctors, and bloody Gary was on the warpath, and I couldn't find you anywhere, I thought... fuck, Si. I don't what I thought," Kieren draws his knees up, wraps his arms around himself. "I was fucking  _scared,_ Simon. I was really fucking scared. And then when I went down there tonight and you just weren't around I... it all came back. I thought maybe you'd followed Zoe and that lot back to the commune or... or... I don't fucking  _know_." 

Kieren is a little out of breath by the end of his rant, squeezing himself even tighter. Simon heaves a breath that borders on tearful, reaches out and gently draws Kieren closer. 

"C'mere. I'm sorry, Kier," he whispers, planting a chaste kiss amongst blond curls. "I really am sorry." 

"S'okay," Kieren mumbles, loosening up and allowing his head to come to rest on Simon's shoulder. They watch the fire in silence for a little while. 

"For what it's worth," Simon posits. "I don't think I could go back there now, even if I wanted to." 

"Would you? If you could?" Kieren asks. Simon sighs. 

"I don't know," he says. And then "No. No, I don't think I would. I don't know if I want to be involved in all of that any more." 

"You were so passionate," Kieren says. "So bloody  _sure._ What changed your mind?" 

" _You_ did, stupid," Simon gives him a playful shove. "I told you. Doesn't matter what I believe. You mean more to me. If the Second Rising means you have to get hurt, then fuck the Second Rising." 

Kieren twists his head to kiss Simon on the cheek, whisper a  _'thank you'_ that is barely more than a breath. Simon chuckles, brings his hands up to cradle Kieren's face. 

"No problem, love," he replies. "God, you're  _perfect._ " 

"No, I'm not, you soppy tart," Kieren says, and if he was capable of blushing, he'd be lobster red right now. Simon plants a peck on his lips. 

"Yes, you are," he murmurs. A kiss on the corner of the mouth. "So bloody perfect." A kiss on the jaw. "Beautiful." Behind the ear. "Gorgeous." On the sharpest point of Kieren's jaw. " _Moregeous._ _"_ Neck. 

Kieren sighs and allows his head to fall to the side, exposing more flesh for Simon to explore with his mouth. A hand comes up to rest on the back of Si's head, tangle in silky black locks. The sensation is more a numb weight than anything. Being able to feel barely anything definitely has its advantages in terms of braving cold weather and having an insanely high tolerance for pain, but it's frustrating to have little more than muscle memory to go off when a gorgeous Irishman is apparently doing his damndest to leave a lovebite, even when there's no blood to cause one. 

"What d'you reckon's gonna happen now, Si?" Kieren asks quietly, and he immediately regrets it, because Simon stops kissing his neck with a dejected sigh and sits up straight again. 

"I don't know," he admits, rubbing a hand over his face. "Fuck, Kier. I don't fucking know. I might have to go away for a bit. Into hiding, like. I'll come back, I swear it. But...if he's as mad at me as I think he is, Roarton's the first place they'll come looking." 

"I'll come with you," Kieren says. 

"Kier, no, you'd be putting yourself even more in his firing line than you already are," Simon says, but Kieren takes both of his hands. 

"Simon," he says, firmly. "We're a team now, you and me. We're in this together. If you go, I'll follow. If we go down, we go down together. I can't lose someone I feel this way about, Si. Not again." 

Simon studies his boyfriend's face for a couple of seconds then, realising how god damn serious he really is about this, he leans in and kisses him. 


End file.
